#1 Crush II

When we arrived in the alley, a kiss was the most obvious thing you could think of. "Wanna come with me?" Frank asked me. I was in doubt and Frank noticed, because I wasn't responding. "Did Jonathan said something to you...?"He asked. "No," I said,"it's just that I don't know if this is the right thing to do.""You should do what feels right." Oi... that was pretty painful. Frank knew how much he meant to me and he knew that eventually I would come along with him. But because of that last sentence he would test me. I had two choices: be strong or be weak. ... Afortunately Frank is my weakness. I would do evertything for him. How bad can you be in love!? I could tell this was a worse case.

We got interrupted by Jonathan and Wesley. Both were completely drunk. Jonathan kept saying Frank should take me home. I actually wanted him to leave and a few minutes later he did.

Frank and I were by ourselves again. "Maybe it's better if you're not coming with me." Damn! It was so typical! I just wanted to say 'yes' and then he says something like this! So now I have tos ask him to come with him, to beg him to come along with him. Forget it! "Maybe it is,"I said. "Do want to come?" Frank asked me. Another shitty question. "Yeah, it's ok," I said but scratched back:"but..." Again I was doubting. "You know you can decide for me," I said. And so he did and went to his place...

When we were at his home, Frank asked me to be quiet: his mom was home too of course. We walked on to the kitchen and took off our shoes. Now the party could start. It began with some heavy kissing, that's how we went to the livingroom. We found a comfortable seat on the couch. Clothes were flying around and everything went pretty quick. It all felt pretty good, cause I still loved Frank. It just felt right: the kisses, his body, to please him. It was different than the time with Thom, cause with Thom the sex is about lust. But Frank's different, there's more feeling and love hanging in the air. Thom doesn't even like to kiss, just because we actually can't stand each other. But Frank was different...
It was quiet and we were staring at each other. It was all very exciting. We went on for a while until Frank reached his 'top'.
I looked upon my watch. Damn it was 4.30! I got dressed real quick and talked with Frank for a while: about his work. I noticed Frank's card as I took on my shoes. He had a terrible last name! Well at least I could hate something about Frank now.
We kissed goodbye. "could you dump this for me please?" Frank asked. He was holding the used condom in his hands. "That's ok," I said. I took it, it was pretty disgusting, cause I was thinking where we just used it for. You could see the condom was filled. It was disgusting... Ah fuck it! I put it in the pocket of my coat. "See you next time." I said and left...

I was so tired and again a little bit depressed, cause Frank and I would never feel the way for me as I do for him. Menno was right all the time. Frank's a drug. The moment you use it, you feel great, but afterwards you feel miserable! Plus I lost the bet six times now! I was way too tired to think long about it. Hmmm... sleep....